My mom called me from work today. The first reason was to ask if she should leave her job of 20 years to go work at a bookstore...something I know that she would love. It has finally come down to the wire and she had to give her decision today. I firmly told her that 20 years at this no-good-dead-end-evil workplace was no reason to stay. Twenty years, smunty years is what I said. And she made me feel like an honest to goodness adult/confidente when she said, "M, you're one of the few people that has actually had a positive reaction to this." To which I responded, "Mom, that's because I know you...and you've got to do what's going to make you happy." "Plus," I threw in there, "You could try going to college again," gently nudging her over the phone (Mom's ultra smart, but since she had me at 18 college wasn't in the cards...then she had a million reasons why she couldn't go back...and now, she's just plain scared. I'm going to keep working on it though).

Mom cleared her throat, "There's another reason why I'm calling you actually." Palpable tension immediately pulled at my ear over the phone line, "Oh yeah? What's up Ma?" Well, one of my co-worker's grandkids came into work today and out of the blue my co-worker asked her grandson if he would be interested in going out on a date with you!"

"Mom," I stated cautiously, "Why would a random person want me to date her grandson? In fact, Mom...is there any grandmother on the Eastern Seaboard who would want me to date her grandson." My mom laughed, "Well, she obviously doesn't know you quite as well I do..." and she just trailed off. "Well Mom, tell me about him. Is he like Quasimodo? Does he have multiple personalities? Would he tell me, "It puts the lotion in the basket, and actually mean it?" Mom just laughed. "He just got out of the Army," (bells of alarm...too rigid, too structured) and well, "He looks like someone who came out of the Army. He gave me his number to give to you." (bells of alarm. Who gives a stranger, sight unseen his/her phone number?). But I thought it would be nicer to just give him your AIM screen name, because well, I know how much time you spend on your computer. (Smack the forehead. Mom you know how much time I spend on my back too, did you tell him that? Greeaat so now he thinks I'm a computer nerd and YET still wouldn't mind giving me his number). So anyways, I have all his info, I just have to decide what to do with it.

I feel a little naked just reaching out and contacting someone out of the blue. It's all part of the artificialness of being set up...it's so much easier when there is actually chemistry and you go from there. It's also easier to obsess over a man for 10 months rather than go on dates...so there you go.

Whatever will I do? I probably won't hit up the mystery Army boy. Sorry Ma. No (legit) grandkids this year...probably no illegit either.