1. Roll in the grass with your dog and bark gleefully while the neighbors are grilling on their deck. Then get up, look directly at them, wave and say hello to them quite casually as if they hadn't just seen you rolling like a canine with an itch on your back.

2. watch the entire two seasons of Nip/Tuck and cry when Dr. Troy casually fucks someone against the wall. Now those are some true heart to heart (or I guess body part to body part) moments. (Be able to watch the entire first two seasons by fast forwarding to the gratuitous scenes)
3. Drive to McDonalds and order chicken nuggets...at the checkout window ask the girl if she can check and see if the nuggets are perfectly round because otherwise...you're not going to eat them. Put on such a forlorn look that the girl actually looks concerned and grabs the bag back and replaces the oblong and rectangular nuggets. 4. Drive home smelling the nuggets but then eat only one...and throw the rest in the trash. You know that you want to be really, really skinny when you see Him in 86 days and to entice someone new while you patiently wait out those days. Because you know, the Cornfield is hopping with "eligible" bachelors (eligible because no one else wants them at all).

5. Pull pantyhose over your head and consider robbing a bank...realize that it might not be as fun without Clyde to help you rob it. Proceed to drink a bottle of champagne that you've had for over five years for no particular reason....

Consider getting those nuggets out of the garbage because you fit into your skinny jeans...but decide just to post one of the crappiest posts that has ever graced this blog, just because you can.

Cheers! Der...glad you got out of the Cornfield while you still could. Oh and stop laughing at me in that picture too!