This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
Check out my other blogs:

igotyourtexts.blogspot.com

melina310.wordpress.org
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.



Wednesday, March 16, 2005
If You Want My Normal Trash Scroll Down To The Next Post
Have you ever had the chance to read Walt Whitman's Song of Myself? If you're like most people you're probably thinking "Hi Snoozeville USA where'd that whore Melina go?" Fortunately for me, I have a couple of other hobbies than staking out which man I'm going to sleep with next...it is also fortunate for me that Song of Myself talks about sex. I'm constantly amazed by people who cannot "hang up their hang ups" about sex and their bodies and societal views. It is kind of like they have resigned themselves to being a "certain way" and any detour from this is somehow a downfall.

When I read Song of Myself for the first time I was in 12th grade and a virgin. Virginal to the extreme. I had kissed one boy in all my life, but it wasn't a bad thing because it wasn't because I couldn't kiss (or do more) with the other boys around, I chose not to. After reading that poem I felt sexy. I felt like I understood what my body was for...and I felt like I had been stagnant because I hadn't understood this before. I understood the message because I felt like Whitman was speaking to me. This poem, along with all the healthy messages from my parents gave me about sexuality is why I'm happy with the things I do with my body. I don't feel degraded, I feel worshipped. Even if it is just for one night ;) So my fiends (uhh I meant friends), I want to share with you Whitman's poem:


Walt Whitman, a cosmos, of Manhattan the son,
Turbulent, fleshy, sensual, eating, drinking and breeding,
No sentimentalist, no stander above men and women or apart from them,
No more modest than immodest.
Unscrew the locks from the doors!
Unscrew the doors themselves from their jambs!
Whoever degrades another degrades me,
And whatever is done or said returns at last to me.
Through me the afflatus surging and surging, through me the current and index.
I speak the password primeval, I give the sign of democracy,
By God! I will accept nothing which all cannot have their counterpart of on the same terms.
Through me may long dumb voices,
Voices of the interminable generations of prisoners and slaves,
Voices of the diseased and despairing and of thieves ad dwarfs,
Voices of cycles of preparation and accretion,
And of the threads that connect the stars, and of wombs and of the father stuff,
And of the rights of them the others are down upon,
Of the deformed, trivial, flat, foolish, despised,
Fog in the air, beetles rolling balls of dung.
Through me forbidden voices,
Voices of sexes and lusts, voices veiled and I remove the veil,
Voices indecent by me clarified and transfigured.
I do not press my fingers across my mouth,
I keep as delicate around the bowels as around the head and heart,
Copulation is no more rank to me than death is.
I believe in the flesh and the appetites,
Seeing, hearing, feeling, are miracles, and each part and tag of me is a miracle.
Divine am I inside and out, and I make holy whatever I touch or am touched from,
The scent of these armpits aroma finer than prayer,
This head more than churches, bibles, and all the creeds.
If I worship one thing more than another it shall be the spread of my own body, or any part of it,
Translucent mold of me it shall be you!
Shaded ledges and rests it shall be you!
Firm masculine colter it shall be you!
Whatever goes to the tilth of me it shall be you!
You my rich blood! you milky stream pale strippings of my life!
Breast that presses against other breasts it shall be you!
My brain it shall be your occult convolutions!
Root of washed sweet flag! timorous pond snipe! next of guarded duplicate eggs! it shall be you!Mixed tussled hay of head, beard, brawn, it shall be you!
Trickling sap of maple, fiber of manly wheat, it shall be you!
Sun so generous it shall be you!
Vapors lighting and shading my face it shall be you!
You sweaty brooks and dews it shall be you!
Winds whose soft-tickling genitals rub against me it shall be you!
Broad muscular fields, branches of live oak, loving lounger in my winding paths, it shall be you!Hands I have taken, face I have kissed, mortal I have ever touched, it shall be you.
I dote on myself, there is that lot of me and all so luscious,
Each moment and whatever happens thrills me with joy,
I cannot tell how my angles bend, nor whence the cause of my faintest wish,
Nor the cause of the friendship I emit, nor the cause of the friendship I take again.
That I walk up my stoop, I pause to consider if it really be,A morning glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books.
To behold the daybreak!The little light fades the immense and diaphanous shadows,The air tastes good to my palate.
Hefts of the moving world at innocent gambols silently rising, freshly exuding,
Scooting obliquely high and low.
Something I cannot see puts upward libidinous prongs,
Seas of bright juice suffuse heaven.
The earth by the sky stayed with, the daily close of their junction,
The heaved challenge from the east that moment over my head,
The mocking taunt, See then whether you shall be master!
posted by Melina at 10:20 PM