I once dated this guy named Brian for a very short period of time--about two months. I broke up with him for several shallow reasons. He actually was probably the nicest guy I ever dated in my life...but these "reasons" impeded our relationship to the extent that I had to say, "It's not you Bri, it's me. I don't like you anymore." ( I would never really be mean like that, it's just a joke)
Reason number one: He had a tattoo covered of his ex girlfriend's name (they had been together for six years so he thought it was safe enough to do) with a tattoo of a bloodthirsty-looking ice hockey player complete with a Flyers' jersey. Whenever I looked at it I smirked because it was so stupid looking. I would've preferred he kept "Angela" on his shoulder forever.

Reason number two: Cr dyed my hair for my bday. I thought it looked great. Brian told me it was the color of eggplant. I thought it looked nice, but after that comment I hassled Cr to redye it and make it less reddish/purple, even though I didn't really see any red or purple. But Brian told me throughout my entire dinner that it was indeed, eggplant.

Reason number three: He had dead animal heads over his bed--actually all over the room, but the ones over the bed were particularly freaky. He was an avid bow hunter (which ok, takes a little more skill than just using a gun but ick...). Picture attempting to set the mood, when you dim the lights, put a little music on. Maybe light a candle or two. Candle light big mistake. The creatures' fake eyes gleaming eerily in the semi-dark, their shadows cast long strange shapes against the wall. No matter what I attempted to stay in the moment, I was constantly staring at them and secretly apologizing that not only were they killed needlessly, but they constantly witness their killer have sex. Poor Bambi's mom never had to deal with such cruel and unusual punishment. No relationship could survive that, sorry.