I'm not sure why they even bother giving us a national holiday because without fail John and I will drink away the day--you know, when we're not a)remodeling the house b)taking tests that affect our entire lives and c) whatever else important things we have going on. Oh sure, we'll play drunken wii and I will cry over Kurt Cobain being dead as we sing along to the songs (true story) but ultimately, we will fill our gullets with a bottle of Black Seal (I'm sorry, he made pina coladas, and I like pina coladas...a lot) in less than an hour and I will pass out on the couch while John attempts to service me. I am a classy wife.

Also, have you seen the KIA commercial about Millard Fillmore being an unknown president? Well, my mom has a weird sense of humor and she told John and I over lunch the other day that she was going to write a letter because it wasn't "right" to make fun a president and/or creating a soap on a rope in his image. John laughed later that he would kill to see a "draft of that letter" because I think he really believed that my mom is bat shit crazy (she is not, she's just goofy). So what does every thirty year woman do? She prank calls her mother as the "Millard Filmore Appreciation Society" and attempted to urge her to write letters and call KIA...the whole time I kept losing it and lapsing into fits of laughter...so I gave up the ruse. I was amazed when she said, "Mel? Is that really you? I thought it was some CRAZY person!". Then she asked us if we were high since we were cackling like morons which spurred us to take pictures of John with a pot on his head and send them to her cell phone. This "hilarious" idea also backfired because we had to teach my dear mother how to retrieve both texts (she just found one that John sent her in October inviting her to the movies with us) and pictures. PS. we were sober for all of these antics.