I'm in the mood for...lists.
In six days we leave for Vegas...whooo! Because I'm lazy I'm going to list all the things that I'm excited about, and all the things I'm completely annoyed by as of late...
1. Excited about getting married obviously. Since I was about 16 I was very glum about ever finding "true love", I figured I was going to die alone...which is what I told my college roommates after we went to see the free showing of the movie "Waiting to Exhale"...apparently, I missed the point of strong impowered women, happily drinking and celebrating with female friends at the end of the movie. (PS. I'm still very embarassed that a) I liked that movie and b) I ended up sobbing afterwards. (Cool points lost: 5)
2. Excited that not only am I getting married, but I think the boy I'm marrying is made of awesomeness! (which is to say, I love him...lots). (Cool points gained back: maybe 3)
3. Annoyed that people refuse (I mean c'mon!) to send back their damn food selection card...these same people keep telling both John and I that they're coming and yet, they will not send the goddamn card back. I gave you bastards a stamp, use it! (Cool points lost for being a shrew about this: 3)
3. Excited to see Vegas...the lights, the hookers, the casinos...you name it...I'm fairly awestruck about the city. (Cool points gained back: 2--c'mon, the rat pack was enamoured with the city too!) (Cool points lost because I'm sooo going to be a tourist: TBD--it all depends how much stuff I make John pose next to)
4. Hopefully seeing the Grand Canyon! This has been something I've been wanting to do since I was in third grade and gave an oral report on it! (I'm too cool to keep awarding and taking away points from myself...this game has become tedious...)
5. Getting to spend time alone with John with no distractions aside from loud dinging noises, flashing lights, women wearing sparkly pasties and temperatures upwards of 105. I pretty much have him all to myself.
6. Going to visit my grandmother and aunts as a favor to my mom was a bit on the annoying side of the spectrum...they're not happy that they're not invited out to Vegas (no one is, we're going alone...it's romantic) . While there, I received a "lovely" off white (hmm, why not white--my darling aunt? Why?) nightie in a size XL for our "first time" (my relatives are very Catholic, and very old--not that there's anything wrong with that...it just explains why the nightie came to mid calf and had very full bottoms). I'm not a tiny bean pole of a girl and perhaps I'm a little "womanly" in the hips, thigh/ass department (womanly=needs to go back to the gym as soon as this wedding paid off!), but in no dimension of the universe am I an XL. My mom tried to play it off by saying it was because my boobs are big...but in fact dear people, I could've made two full size parachutes for John and I to use when jumping off Stratsophere or something!
The weekend edition--of excited/annoyed
(there are two fours, two fives and two sixes...I don't care...I enjoy annoying you as much as possible...I'm kidding, but I'm still not changing it!)
4. We went to the beach this weekend...the water was wonderfully warm, the sun was shining nearly the whole time...it was beachtastic...feel free to try to make this word a real word. I feel strongly that if blog can become a commonly used word, so too, can beachtastic.
5. I found out the true meaning of "If this van's a rocking, don't come a knocking..." John has a trailer at the beach (it's not as white trash as one would assume, it's actually quite nice). T was sleeping in the one room while we were in the "bedroom"...when John said, "I don't know how we're going to keep this quiet" I thought he was referring to me...I was very proud of how quiet I kept it, but was quickly deflated when T told me twenty minutes later when I met her out at the picnic tables that she thought she was going to get sea sick!
6. I got John to play in the water with me, since typically he's trying to catch waves on his surfboard. It was kinda cute and romantic to float around in his arms, or wave jump next to him...then he untied my bikini bottoms. I giggled as he waved them over his head, um, until I noticed that Jersey's water quality had much improved and no longer was I staring down at murkiness, I was staring at...well, the same thing that the prepubescent boys were staring at!! Needless to say, I made old Johnny help me tie back up before I got a corruption of minors charge lodged against me.
7. I learned that John can whip up a mighty fine Margarita. This will come in handy in times when I feel the need to numb myself after he loses his glasses!! (just kidding John)
8. The only annoying moment of the whole weekend was when we were packing our things up from the beach. We reached the car and I handed John his keys. He kept his hand out and asked for his glasses and I replied with pinched eyebrows, "I don't remember you putting them in the beach bag..." trailing off, knowing where this was going. Uh oh! He starts tearing to the beach to try to find them, I go chasing afterwards. In his frustration, he yells at me, I refuse to let this thing de-escalate, so I yell back at him. Ridiculously, I'm combing the sand while yelling smartass comments at him...apparently, our behavior was appalling because another couple was trying to take in the sunset and um, they moved their beach chairs away from us. To be fair, John tried (after a while) to get us to act like adults and said, "Could you lower your voice?" To which I responded, "No I won't lower my voice, and don't tell me what to do, you can't even find your glasses!!" Or something puerile and smartass like that. We never did find those glasses, but um, we did apologize to each other.
9. Oh wait! One more annoying thing. During the fight, John mentioned something snide about my "I heart pirate boys" beach bag and to show him that I (like to act like a five year old) cared, I threw it out the window. This is me...being sad...for being an idiot. I will forever mourn that bag. John now refers to my now defunct bag as the Derek bag and he said that I can get an "I heart accountant boys" bag, while I love one accountant, I feel that there's not enough love in my heart for the whole damn lot of 'em...The worst part of my overly dramatic act was the fact, that John never even noticed I did it. Gosh I'm a baby sometimes! :)
1. Excited about getting married obviously. Since I was about 16 I was very glum about ever finding "true love", I figured I was going to die alone...which is what I told my college roommates after we went to see the free showing of the movie "Waiting to Exhale"...apparently, I missed the point of strong impowered women, happily drinking and celebrating with female friends at the end of the movie. (PS. I'm still very embarassed that a) I liked that movie and b) I ended up sobbing afterwards. (Cool points lost: 5)
2. Excited that not only am I getting married, but I think the boy I'm marrying is made of awesomeness! (which is to say, I love him...lots). (Cool points gained back: maybe 3)
3. Annoyed that people refuse (I mean c'mon!) to send back their damn food selection card...these same people keep telling both John and I that they're coming and yet, they will not send the goddamn card back. I gave you bastards a stamp, use it! (Cool points lost for being a shrew about this: 3)
3. Excited to see Vegas...the lights, the hookers, the casinos...you name it...I'm fairly awestruck about the city. (Cool points gained back: 2--c'mon, the rat pack was enamoured with the city too!) (Cool points lost because I'm sooo going to be a tourist: TBD--it all depends how much stuff I make John pose next to)
4. Hopefully seeing the Grand Canyon! This has been something I've been wanting to do since I was in third grade and gave an oral report on it! (I'm too cool to keep awarding and taking away points from myself...this game has become tedious...)
5. Getting to spend time alone with John with no distractions aside from loud dinging noises, flashing lights, women wearing sparkly pasties and temperatures upwards of 105. I pretty much have him all to myself.
6. Going to visit my grandmother and aunts as a favor to my mom was a bit on the annoying side of the spectrum...they're not happy that they're not invited out to Vegas (no one is, we're going alone...it's romantic) . While there, I received a "lovely" off white (hmm, why not white--my darling aunt? Why?) nightie in a size XL for our "first time" (my relatives are very Catholic, and very old--not that there's anything wrong with that...it just explains why the nightie came to mid calf and had very full bottoms). I'm not a tiny bean pole of a girl and perhaps I'm a little "womanly" in the hips, thigh/ass department (womanly=needs to go back to the gym as soon as this wedding paid off!), but in no dimension of the universe am I an XL. My mom tried to play it off by saying it was because my boobs are big...but in fact dear people, I could've made two full size parachutes for John and I to use when jumping off Stratsophere or something!
The weekend edition--of excited/annoyed
(there are two fours, two fives and two sixes...I don't care...I enjoy annoying you as much as possible...I'm kidding, but I'm still not changing it!)
4. We went to the beach this weekend...the water was wonderfully warm, the sun was shining nearly the whole time...it was beachtastic...feel free to try to make this word a real word. I feel strongly that if blog can become a commonly used word, so too, can beachtastic.
5. I found out the true meaning of "If this van's a rocking, don't come a knocking..." John has a trailer at the beach (it's not as white trash as one would assume, it's actually quite nice). T was sleeping in the one room while we were in the "bedroom"...when John said, "I don't know how we're going to keep this quiet" I thought he was referring to me...I was very proud of how quiet I kept it, but was quickly deflated when T told me twenty minutes later when I met her out at the picnic tables that she thought she was going to get sea sick!
6. I got John to play in the water with me, since typically he's trying to catch waves on his surfboard. It was kinda cute and romantic to float around in his arms, or wave jump next to him...then he untied my bikini bottoms. I giggled as he waved them over his head, um, until I noticed that Jersey's water quality had much improved and no longer was I staring down at murkiness, I was staring at...well, the same thing that the prepubescent boys were staring at!! Needless to say, I made old Johnny help me tie back up before I got a corruption of minors charge lodged against me.
7. I learned that John can whip up a mighty fine Margarita. This will come in handy in times when I feel the need to numb myself after he loses his glasses!! (just kidding John)
8. The only annoying moment of the whole weekend was when we were packing our things up from the beach. We reached the car and I handed John his keys. He kept his hand out and asked for his glasses and I replied with pinched eyebrows, "I don't remember you putting them in the beach bag..." trailing off, knowing where this was going. Uh oh! He starts tearing to the beach to try to find them, I go chasing afterwards. In his frustration, he yells at me, I refuse to let this thing de-escalate, so I yell back at him. Ridiculously, I'm combing the sand while yelling smartass comments at him...apparently, our behavior was appalling because another couple was trying to take in the sunset and um, they moved their beach chairs away from us. To be fair, John tried (after a while) to get us to act like adults and said, "Could you lower your voice?" To which I responded, "No I won't lower my voice, and don't tell me what to do, you can't even find your glasses!!" Or something puerile and smartass like that. We never did find those glasses, but um, we did apologize to each other.
9. Oh wait! One more annoying thing. During the fight, John mentioned something snide about my "I heart pirate boys" beach bag and to show him that I (like to act like a five year old) cared, I threw it out the window. This is me...being sad...for being an idiot. I will forever mourn that bag. John now refers to my now defunct bag as the Derek bag and he said that I can get an "I heart accountant boys" bag, while I love one accountant, I feel that there's not enough love in my heart for the whole damn lot of 'em...The worst part of my overly dramatic act was the fact, that John never even noticed I did it. Gosh I'm a baby sometimes! :)
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