Someone might've let her dog go out and play outside where that someone knows that there might be some poison ivy. That special Someone might also be particularly allergic to said poison ivy. The dog (seen in post below) might've come over for a good rub down and her owner might've been very willing to give it her. Then...

Then that silly girl (aka Someone) might've decided to drop her pants and think happy thoughts because her fiance was at work and she had nothing better to do with her summer vacation. I'll not elaborate, you catch my drift right?

Or...Someone's dog might've come in from the poison ivy festival and rolled on Someone's thong...

Those are the only two reasonable scenarios that Someone can come up with to explain the fact that she has poison ivy on her inner thigh, above her ass and well...somewhere uncomfortable (like in the backseat of a volkswagon).

Someone called the doctor's office and asked a few embarassing questions as Someone has had this happen to her once before as a child when she used the shiny leaves of three as toilet paper once. If it gets any worse, Someone will be getting a lovely shot in the ass...Let this be a cautionary tale for all of you...you might get hairy palms, you may get warts on your hands, you may go blind--or perhaps you'll just get poison ivy.