So I guess I should've called the cop before today...I wasn't thinking. His words stuck in my head that he wasn't free until Monday or Tuesday and or possibly Sunday after Mother's Day and so I kept thinking, "Ok I'll call him Sunday or Monday." I'm thinking I should've called him before today. But I didn't. Shit. "Listen all y'all it's a sabotage!" I am deciding whether to bother calling him now, since it's been a week...he did leave it in my hands-and he did say that he wasn't going to call me. I just wish he would've said, "I wait with baited breath for your call," well because then, I wouldn't be nervous about calling him back--because I never would. Fuck me, this sucks. Although Chelle did put things into perspective when she reminded me that she was "dumped" by voicemail by a 40 year old guy who was seriously whacked out of his mind! Ok, so she wasn't dumped but he did tell her that he was moving back to CA but she seemed like a very nice girl. She only gave him her phone number because she was trying to be nice.

My mom and I had a long talk about me and my sabotaging ways with men yesterday...in a funny way. She didn't attack me for once, she just kind of shook her head at me when I told her the Matty story and how that all ended because I blew him off--because I liked him too much and now how I'm kicking myself. She was hilarious because she leaned over the table at me and said, "Was he any good in bed?" and my response? "Um probably the best I've ever had." And all she did was giggle and say, "Dummy". Where are those words or wisdom I needed? Oh wait, she did say, "Well you could call him back and grovel a bit." To which I responded, "I tried once. I'm just going to wait it out and see how long him and [she that will not be named] stay together. I'm hoping a month or less."

So that's the excitement here folks... Iguess I should just bite the bullet and call him. Ah but which "him" am I talking about? The Cop. I'm still in "Don't Look Back" mode.