This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Ask me the one thing that I miss about real relationships? Mixed CDs. I swear to [insert your god of choice] I am Rob from High Fidelity in female both the good and bad ways (particularly- too self involved). I have recently resorted by proxy to making my mom and my friends mixed CDs because I miss sitting and thinking about the person I'm with and creating a great CD...

I love to go through my album (CD) collection and see all the burned CDs that I have received over the years. It's like looking through scrapbooks almost, perhaps even more personal. In those CDs I can see how each particular guy saw me, saw us, saw everything.

The last mixed CD I made for someone was almost disasterous for my ego and perhaps more but I'll never admit it. He was my friend and we had slept together more than a few times. On a random itch I decided to make him a CD because everytime we went anywhere there was always music involved and we were always discussing it. I wasn't thinking serious "boyfriend/girlfriend" CD but I did think I was making some kind of a statement--even if I wasn't quite sure what it was. I put the CD with my stuff in the corner at my friend's house where I knew I would be crashing at after the bars.

That night the friend told me that he was getting back together with his ex girlfriend, and that she had just called him out of the blue and he felt that he wanted to give it a shot. It was great that he was honest, and I knew that he wasn't anywhere near over her, but damn him! He waited until we were both drunk. I couldn't help it--two fat tears formed in my eyes and began rolling traitorously down my cheeks. I wiped them away quickly, but they continued. They were silent, they were involuntary...they were making me glad that I had the foresight to wear waterproof makeup. I continued to stay out, and get free drinks at the bar (while the tears continued to flow even though I was maintaining conversations and ignoring them). Apparently a damsel in distress (and in leather pants) is still an attractive thing (ick).

That night Ry drove me home. I was supposed to stay somewhere else but it was clear that I was drunk and I was a wreck, so he took me home to my mom's house. He rang the doorbell at 2:00am and made the handoff to my mom. He shrugged, grinned wryly and said, "Sorry" to my mom. She told me I sat on the couch and put my head in my hands and continued to cry but I wouldn't speak.

The guy/friend isn't/wasn't a "bad" guy by any means. In fact, when Ry and I left the bar it began to snow heavily. The guy drove in the opposite direction from his home and waited at Ry's house to see how I was doing. In fact, Ry was a little pissed at me the next morning because he ended up consolling him about hurting my feelings.

I never gave that guy the CD, in fact, I burned another copy and gave one to Ry and one to my seemed to suit them better the next morning than the guy it was originally intended for.

If you were to make me a CD, what song or songs would you include on it for me? Why?
posted by Melina at 10:08 PM