This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Friday, January 21, 2005
Proof That I Need To Seek Professional Help Immediately
On with the lashing out of S. So then he says, "I really liked you," really quietly. Finally this is the point where I felt like I had to respond.
Melina: I liked you too! But you kinda screwed it up when you berated me in front of my friends in my house for no reason!

S: Yeah, that was bad wasn't it (hanging head)? But I didn't really mean it (you'll see a contradiction in a few minutes).

M: Well, ya called me a you think I have a total lack of self-respect that I'd ever date you after that?

S: No but...(whispers) I would give anything to have sex with you again. I gave you weak sex. It was weak (in a whiny voice).

M: (looks around and is embarrasssed for him) S, you know that's not the reason, right? You can't be that dense? I liked you too (although now I'm wondering what crack I was smoking at the time).

S: I'm much more confident now! After ________ (African American lady), I know what I'm doing! Do ya wanna go back to your place and just f--k like crazy."

M: (true quote) You are wacked out of your mind! I hope you're drunk because I would NEVER have sex with you again. (Taps on bar) Self-respect!

S: (angry now) No I know you too well. You always said that you looove having sex and that it's a huge part of your life. And you know what? Even though you don't think're a slut! I bet you f---ed more guys than I have girls.

M: Well let's not get into a pissing contest, hon.

S: You don't think you're a slut? Oh forget it, I'm going to walk home (home being his friend's house because he's too drunk to drive home).

M: Are you sure? Because you're on a roll...I'd love to hear what else is rattling around in that head of yours!

S: Yeah? I have to give you mad props for listening to this.

M: (mentally laughing at a white boy giving me mad props) No, I love this. This is greeaat. So what exactly do I do that's different than what a guy does? Hmm? I mean when I'm dating someone, I'm only dating him, right? And when I'm not, sometimes I have sex with! That's scandalous in 2005! (sarcasm abounds at this point).

S: (looks at me like I have three heads, then concedes) Yeah, I guess you're right. But tell me, you've slept with more people than me...

M: Uhh yeah, no. I'm not sharing any more intimate details with you because you're an asshole. I'm done talking with you. So why don't you walk your skinny ass out of here before I ask my friends to kick you out (a slight stretch of the truth, I'm not absolutely sure that Sweet Cheeks or my tiny little Drk would actually kick him out just because he's screaming about my sex life."

S: (gets off the barstool and begins to walk to the door) Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home...and maybe...(I'm not making this stuff up folks!) we could uh hook up?

M: Bye S!

S: You're going to f--k Todd aren't you? When he comes back, right?

M: Yep, that's what I'm going to do S. You figured out my master plan.

Now I'm hanging my head in shame...
Did...and I told Todd this morning as I was getting ready for work, "Make sure you tell S about this, ok?"

I need a leash and a handler...
posted by Melina at 7:03 AM