So at my place of business there was a bomb threat for tomorrow. I thought that was sweet of the bombist, he left a little graffiti in the men's bathroom stating that "Something might go boom on March 1st". Personally, I didn't take it as much as a threat as a statement saying that yes, somewhere, something may go boom! I jest because I can.

In the midst of calming people and explaining to nearly adult people that they cannot bring anything with them tomorrow I had a girl come up to me and whisper, "Can I bring my purse?" I repeated my spiel again about how no one should bring anything with them tomorrow. She whispered again, "Well, what if I bring it because I need it?" I said that her bag would probably be searched. She whispered to me again (the girl was a serious whisperer!), "But I have stuff in there that I don't want them to see!" I looked at her sternly and said, "Perhaps then tomorrow would be a good time to leave the contraband at home!" She beckoned me back down again so that she could cup my ear and whispered one final time. I stood back up with a smile on my face and told her again, "Just leave your bag at home and I'll take care of you". Tomorrow, I will have to bring extra tampons for my little friend. Cute, she wasn't phased at all that there could be a bomb exploding tomorrow, but she was totally phased that the male gym teacher might get a glimpse of her tampons!

Perhaps this is why I'm getting honored in April by five of my charges for my impact on their lives. They had the opportunity to nominate anyone who has influenced them over the past 12 years. By nominating me, it allows me to have dinner with these five fine people with the other nominees. I feel like I've been hugged a thousand times all at once. Because I'm a nosy busybody, I peeped at all the nominations--my eyes welled up when I read the reasons why these kids wanted me to be nominated. I had to put all the sheets back into the folder and run back to my room because by the time I was done reading them, I had tears streaming down my face. It feels really good to know that I'm good at this and that I'm needed, respected and perhaps (shucks) even loved by these kids.

PS. I tied for the most nominations with a 34 year veteran...I think I'm on the right track!

Blame this post on watching One True Thing, the book slayed me and watching the movie (which isn't all that great) killed me a little bit more.

My mother has always played second fiddle to my father. She's my biological blood and yet she willingly took the back seat to my non-biological dad. Why? The only answer I can come up with tonight is the fact that she is an unfailingly good mother. I look at her (now, introspectively of course, but in reality, I've never really looked at her aside from physically...it's terrible), and I realize how truly blessed I am to have had the life that I've had--and it's all because of her.

She became pregnant at 18. She was unmarried and had been having a romance with an older man, I think it was all very exciting coming from the abandoned strip mine town that she did. She was (is) very intelligent and I was definitely going to "interfere" with her plans, her dreams...college. Because my family based our entire relationship on truth, when I was old enough she told me all about the feelings, the overwhelmingness of it all. She even told me that she went to an abortion clinic, that she sat in the waiting room, touching my non-existant self and when they called her name she stood up and walked out.

I don't see this as noble, I see this as an impulsive decision. I'm not against abortion (I know this will anger many people, but I could never decide for others. I don't believe that I would ever have one, but to choose for everyone?? That's not my job) I understand that I wouldn't be here had she not stood up and left...and believe me, I'm glad that she did. She made that choice at 18 as many women do, but when she did that, she became a mom. A real mom.

My mom almost never had a babysitter for me (two times that I can remember in my entire childhood). I blew out the candles on her 21st birthday, I have the picture to prove it. When I went to bed, her friends and my dad and her celebrated with bottles of champagne quietly after I was asleep. Date nights? I went on every single date my parents ever had. Was this healthy? Probably not, but it worked for all of us. I can't even imagine. My mom had no identity other than Mom and she never complained, although she probably should have.

Now my mom is 48 and my father (non biological), the true love of her life is dead and she started over. I'm proud of her. She met a man, has been with him for about three years and has built a life without myself and my dad. At first, I was jealous and vindictive child (at the age of 26). It's only now that I realize that this is the first time that she has a chance to live the life that she's dreamed (let me quote Thoreau if I may). This is the only time in her life that there has never been external expectations upon her...can you even imagine?? And she never complained, not once. Of course, there are people who would say that she couldn't complain because she made the decisions that she made, but this is reality, people complain daily. She never once did.

My mother is going to college at the age of 50, that's her goal and I'm proud of her. Because of my dad's tour in Vietnam we all received (basically) a free college education. As of today, I was the only one (out of the three of us) who took advantage of this. In fact, on graduation day my dad said to me, "It was almost worth losing a hand and a leg for this." I cried. I want to cry for my mom when she throws her cap. I hope that she does. She's deferred all her dreams and now, it seems, she is trying to live the life she was meant to live.