This is my little man dressed up like a rhino (for Halloween). It melts my heart, it should do something to yours too, or this proves that you don't have one!

All's well here...perhaps I'm understating-- it's simply perfect. But perfect rarely breeds inspired posts. I could tell you about how John and I have become afficienados of both Trivial Pursuit and Scrabble (that Genus edition is harder than I remember! I think my parents cheated and gave me fake questions growing up!). I could tell you that I needed my mom's help in paying my $1,000 bill to get my car cleared for inspection---it is seriously amazing how much better the car runs---it no longer sounds like Fred Flintstone is using his feet to carry my little econo-car along!

Instead, I'll tell you how our past weekend could've been exciting, in list form:

1. It could've been exciting if I hadn't played drunken Scrabble on Friday night.
2. I consumed 5 Molson XXX and a few other lite beers and all of the sudden I was just a blathering idiot.
3. 6,000 is the number of times that John begged me that night to take a breath and stop babbling.
4. 6,0001 is the number of times I ignored his request.
5. That night, the drunken sex was spectacular...I blame my drunkeness for my reference to John as a "stallion"...stallion??? You can do better than that, right???
6. I awoke the next morning to lay on the couch and drink another beer to try to stave off the hangover...instead, I passed out.
7. I awoke again, to puke.
8. and puke
9. and eat KFC
10. and puke
11. and eat Wendy's
12. and puke
13. John, my faithful nursemaid (and sex stallion), tried to revive me. First, with more sex...nice, but that didn't help. Second, with trying to get me to T's Halloween party. A party we were supposed to be at around 8 pm...instead, he was trying to rally me to go at 3 am and laugh at our drunken friends.
14. I waved him away, puked and set him along without me...I nestled down with a lovely marathon of To Catch a Predator (I think it's probably wrong of me to love that show...but I do, I love it)
15. John returned with lots of pictures and videos of all kinds of mayhem--girls making out, John's friend potentially getting a threesome (which may have been arranged by my very own sex stallion, since he plied them with numerous shots in the two hours that he was there--that's how he got his other name--The Shot Monster!)
16. I fell back asleep and laid on the couch the whole next day watching football next to the Stallion.
17. Moral of the story...drunken Scrabble can destroy a weekend I suppose.

Oh and I'm attempting to do this:

Camera found! It was lurking with Godzilla...a lovely (and I truly mean that, I pet lil' zill all the time) addition to our shelves courtesy of John's bachelordom/childhood. I'm assuming that my drunken self thought that Godzilla could hide and protect my camera while I decided to pass out. Of course, before I passed out I dragged John upstairs to ravage him. What? Do you feel that host and hostess should stay up and entertain their guests? In our home, we do not. We went upstairs...I may or may not have ravaged that man I call a mate (the jury's out on that one, neither of can remember) while our friends partied until about 7am...Guess they didn't need us. (picture of one of lovely party goers down at our basement bar--John's friend talked to my friend for nearly two hours before they smooched! I'm hoping they hit it off...but we'll see...he swapped DNA with one of my other friends at our wedding reception)

What were we for Halloween before I shucked my costume off and rolled naked in my bed? We were the most distasteful pairing you can imagine. I'll let you guess if you'd like but I'm not going to tell just yet, for fear of being crucified.

In other news. We decided to try and lay low for a few weeks. We want to save up for fun stuff, maybe a little holiday vacation (oh la la), or Christmas presents or even birthday presents! We've eliminated credit cards from our lives and decided that we will live within our means. Our friends,however, have other plans for us. While we ate some wonderful, wonderful wings last night (they're free with a five dollar pitcher of Yuengling-Pennsylvania's idea of the best lager ever--I've never bought into the hype whatsoever--but I do appreciate that it's America's oldest brewery) we licked our fingers and discussed the wonders of Everclear, no not the band headed by Art somebody (who quite obviously had a horrible father), but the grain alcohol that has been banned in Pennsylvania due to the fact that myself and many other college goers in PA couldn't get enough of the stuff--we'd shove it in watermelons, drinks, even pasta salad if we had to (luckily I never went to that point of no return).

Anyways, our friend Tony and John decided that they had a hankering for the potent potable (put that in your glass and drink it Trebek!) and made the decision that on Saturday, we were going to trek down to the fine state of Delaware, (a state which is really on good for purchasing grain alcohol) and pick up a few bottles of the stuff. We're going to make good ol' fashion jungle juice (is that pc? should I call it a rainforest refreshment?), we're going to buy a new trashcan, and fill the lovely container with fruit, red liquid (Hawaiian punch perhaps) and lots and lots of grain. Saturday will be deemed Blackout Saturday, not to be confused with Black Friday. Wish us lots of luck.

PS. I read Jay's post about making sushi with Jason and it got me thinking that I would love to take a little cooking class kind of thing (that DOES NOT INVOLVE FISH RAW OR OTHERWISE) with John...so thanks Jay, I'm going to see if there's anything cool like that in our neck of the woods.

...so we first had the idea to be the Incredibles...but we realized we might scare people in all our red spandexed glory.

...so then John toyed around with being this couple briefly and then said, "Nah".
...so then John googled this lovely couple and thought about this for a moment, but decided that too many people have already done this and it's just a dumb idea at this point...let's think creative!
so then John suggested this couple...and it seemed like a great idea but we've been laggards and we did nothing to work on our costume.

So now John has come up with a genius idea (done with love, not with mockery), and wants to be him, I don't have to be a crocodile do I? Ha ha...I think I'll just have to think of something up completely unrelated.

Also unrelated, Johnny was once her for Halloween, hence the reason I got him a Big Fun hoodie, and he once had a vanity plate of the same slogan. I wish I had thought about Halloween costumes earlier because I still have a fondness for this, but alas, I already threw out my cutlass--because I couldn't justify why it sat on the dining room table for a full year. Hmm...what can I be? I may just put my wedding dress on again, 'cuz I wanna!

Whine....

I'm getting sick.

It hurts.

I think it's bronchitis...a common ailment for asthmatics like myself...boo.
I have returned home from work and I'm ready to lay on my couch with one leg hanging out of the blanket so that I can balance the hot/cold/chill/fever ratio that my body is waging war on me right now. My sinuses are about ready to explode and my lungs couldn't feel any more raw as I wheeze, rasp, sneeze and sweet jesus---cough, ever so painfully.

On another front...John and I decided that we're going to be these guys for Halloween, I think it was a brilliant decision--of course, John came up with it. We both will have to wear wigs...as I do not have blond short hair (nor am I going to be cutting my dark locks) and John doesn't quite have the long hair that Ritchie has either. We're going to be the cutest married couple playing brother and (adopted) sister in love. What could be more perfect???

So lots of stuff has happened while I've been absent. Does anyone know how I can make Blogger compatible with my mac? that's the only thing that keeps me from posting...

This weekend was fun. About fifteen of us girls went out and celebrated our one friend's birthday. A new bar opened around us so that's where we, and everyone else swarmed to. It was ok...it certainly was no thitwbar, that's for sure. And for just that reason...and the crowds and the bad/loud music my friend T and I decided to mosey on over to thitwbar.

No surprises there either...well except for one. T, Chelle, Cr and I all have names for particular regulars. For example...there's Hot Ronnie (because my friends think that he's hott), The Shiny Cupcake (can't be explained without a five paragraph essay) and Smelly Cat (wears so much cologne he sucks all the oxygen out of the air when he walks into the room). T and I found out that we've been given a little nickname too. It's cute and it has to do with the one bar that we go to---Basically we're the FQB Babes. Could be worse I guess. Drunken idiots comes to mind.

For Halloween Chelle went up to Salem and Crystal was on her Honeymoon so again, T and I were on our own. We planned to go to the FQB where there was a party going on and a few of our friends' bands were playing as, so we thought it would be fun. T, went as Wonder Woman and looked so amazingly awesome I paled in comparison...but don't worry, I still looked pretty darn snappy as a bar wench. It was fun mingling with old and new friends but I have to say when I got my foot stepped on and I heard a crunch, as well when someone cut me with a broken shot glass I was quite glad I was fortified with lots of seasonal shots--with really cutesy names like "smashing pumpkins" and "vampire bites", They looked harmless but they sure weren't! T managed to get "THE" guy that she's liked for a long time and whom she's had a history with, to turn his head again finally, after many months of him avoiding her because a mistake that she made (vague I know). Apparently, he has a Wonder Woman fetish...but then again, who doesn't? I mean seriously.

We got invited to his afterparty at his house but I told T to go ahead without me. I had to get home to the dogs and I was so tired that I was going to fall asleep in my wenchy heels. Plus, I don't need another punk rock prince to break my heart...and that's all that was going to be there.
On another front, I may be seeking some kind of part time employment. My bills are overwhelming...being single and a professional individual who doesn't get paid near enough will do this to you. That, and wanting to go out every single weekend. That might really be the problem...so it may be back to the dreg jobs on top of my real one. Here's a list of horrible jobs I worked before I finished college and got my dream job.

I was a waitress at a truckstop (my skirt was a bandaid), a waitress at Denny's next door to an Army base (it was 10x's worse than the truckstop), worked at a Dairy Queen in No Man's Land (there were many people who were involved/maimed in tractor accidents...and or...drove buggies), worked at an extremely high end maternity store (can you say the ultimate hormonal bitches EVER?), Victoria's Secret (it was fun except when the guys would say things like, "You're about my girlfriend's size and hold something against my boobs and then I would have to smack them for touching my breasts) and then there were a few other less interesting ones. So what will it be next? I hardly want to know. What's the point of having a Masters Degree at this point...arrrgggh. A strike is apparently in my future because I'm not the only one suffering from the salary issue...the performance vs. pay descrepancy has been pointed out in the newspaper recently...let's just keep our fingers crossed that everything gets resolved!