This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Sunday, January 09, 2005
Feeling Sad...But I Don't Know if I Should
Before I start--know that I'm not angry with Cr, I'm just sad. I should've made my feelings known clearly and then this wouldn't have happened!

So I have a serious question for you because I don't know if I'm acting junior high or not. My friend Cr told me that she had a confession the other night and she told me that she thought Drk was cute. Fine, whatever, think he's cute...that's normal. However, in reality she took that a step further and pursued him. She asked Sweet Cheeks about him and gave him her number to give to Drk or told him to pass it on or something. Drk hasn't called her yet but I'm sure it's just a matter of time (tears in my eyes, feeling like a big ol' loser). Although, I'm hoping that Drk feels like it's weird too. I'm PMSing and this isn't helping one bit.

Now to be fair to Cr--I did tell her that "hey maybe you could do better than me with Drk" but did I really want her to try? Definitely not, but then I shouldn't have said it or said, "I'm done with him" which I say every 10 mins right after I have another random thought about him. I thought there was some unwritten code, but maybe not. Even if nothing comes of it, and Drk never calls her, it's extremely upsetting to me. I didn't say anything today about it, I was bitchy today though...which was wrong and I will speak to her about how I feel because I know that it's not her intention to hurt me. She probably thinks that I gave it a shot and failed and now it should be her turn...and maybe she's right. I certainly can't be territorial with someone who only responds slightly/sporadically to my advances (probably out of manners).

Sometimes it sucks to be a girl with a friend who's better looking at you! I'm hoping that after Cr and I talk (which we will because I value our friendship too much not to) she will leave Drk single/untouched until someone who's not my friend ends up dating him. And I know that she will.

Great, now I'm really crying. Good thing it's Sunday so there's no mascara to deal with :(

posted by Melina at 3:33 PM