This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Saturday, September 08, 2007
While You Were Sleeping- The Perverted Edition
I don't know how this story slipped my mind...but somehow John came away unscathed because I hadn't posted this story on the blog--and we can't have that, now can we?!? Hells no!

Last weekend John and I got a bit drunk on our deck while listening to Bob Dylan, munching on some grilled foods and sipping on whiskey. Somehow, I managed to get myself more than a little tipsy so I excused myself from a drunken game of wii golf that we always end up playing when we've had a little too much, and I sneaked away uptairs to sleep. Eyeing up my options, a nice cushy queen sized bed or the floor as sleeping choices, I picked wisely. I chose the floor as the ideal place for slumber, I grabbed my pillow from the bed and I happily closed my eyes...and this is where the story gets interesting.

Apparently while I was sleeping, a certain drunken Johnny came upstairs and beheld his naked wife passed out, ahem, sleeping on the bedroom floor. The drunkard thought to himself, " know what Melina probably wants right now? I bet she wants to be tied up!" (I picture him scratching his beard while coming up with this bang up idea). So drunken husband o' the year sets about looking for things to use to tie me up with. All the while I'm just snoring away, blissfully unaware of what he's doing.

From his account of the evening's activities, John said that he wandered around the room and settled upon my pink robe tie and a pair of flannel pajama pants. The pants he tied over my face as a "little blindfold" because (as he chuckled) he didn't want me to wake up and see him (Oh of course not, because he knew that I would've probably decked him!) He managed to expertly get my arms behind my back and well...tie them up with the pink robe tie. Ok, so this story might be sexy if I had been awake (if you're into that), it might've been a little more perverted if he hadn't fallen asleep in the empty bed, but the story just turns out to be plain old funny because...

John passed out on the bed, leaving me to wake up the next morning wondering why I was blind and why I couldn't move my arms! After a long struggle, I managed to free my hands and then get rid of the damn pair of pajamas that were tied to my head. Call me Melina Houdini...if you will. You can imagine that I was more than a little confused because I damn well knew that when I put myself to bed I left off the blindfold. "Hmmm...who could it have been?", I thought to myself. Looking around the room, I quickly recognized the culprit who was sleeping the sleep of the guilty, alone in the bed while I had been naked on the floor with nothing for warmth but a robe tie! Of course, I woke John up to find out what the hell he had been up to but he just mumbled sleepily, "You looked so cute on the floor, I tied you up!" and with that he gave me a sweet smile and fell back to sleep leaving me scratch my head and rub my wrists a little wondering who the hell I married.

Watch your back Johnny boy, I've got a little of duct tape that has your name all over it...I'm just saying...

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posted by Melina at 5:14 PM