This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Wednesday, December 21, 2005
A Question that's been plaguing me since birth
Would you rather...

Have mayonaise for hair...or ring bologna for ankles?


The back story for this question is this. I was sitting in college, most likely nursing a hangover or I was still drunk. I remember I was sipping on Orange Mango from Nantucket Nectar which was my cure-all back in those days...well that and all those other illegal things. So anyways, there I was sitting in Women's Issues in Literature...yawn. It could've been an interesting class but it was handled poorly and the people taking the class were your stereotypical militants minus myself and these two seriously divine looking boys--who were best friends.

The second day of class I think they were feeling me out (so to speak) to see if I was there to preach my feelings about how women were treated in 1659 and how literature reflected the misogyny or if I was there to pick up my credits...which I was. Honestly, I took and picked classes in college that I absolutely loved and could get something out of...but this one was a fluke, it wasn't my thing. So cute boy number one leaned over and said, "I have a question for you." and he proceeded to ask me the very question I asked you. We became good friends after this exchange and for the rest of the semester we played a very informal game of "Would you rather..." because the professor ended up falling ill and some stuttering man filled her place and the millitants ripped him to shreds with the vigor of barracudas (oooh barracuda!) daily.

I felt bad for him one day (and I had made a bet with the best friends who were the only fully hetero males ever to be in one of my core lit courses) so I raised my hand. The poor man looked relieved and called on me. I stood up, smoothing my wrinkled party clothes from the night before, and politely inquired," Sir? Do you think you'd prefer ring bologna ankles or mayonaise for hair?" and he smiled and said, "I hate mayo...I'll go with the bologna." To which I replied, "Oh dear, I hope you don't run into any dogs." and with a wink I sauntered myself out of the room, excusing myself from the predictable literary arguments of the day.

Let's play would you rather... since no one else seems to read the blog anymore...NJ, you're up.

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posted by Melina at 2:12 PM