"Who's he?" E pokes me in the rib and asks.
"That's Mike," I reply not offering too much info.
"Why did he just stick his tongue out like that at you, and now he's talking to T?" E asks, his hand grazing my thigh.
"I dunno E. The other day he asked T to go home with him and then he asked mea few minutes after that. I think he wants to sleep with the both of us."
E's face clouds over, "The hell he will!"
To goad him I say, "If I want to sleep with T and Mike I'll do it!" (I have no intentions of ever doing this.)
"Why would you want to go home with that douche when you can go home with me," he says placing his hand in the small of my back.
"Space! You said you'd give me my space" I say, wiggling out of my seat and running to the safety of the juke box.
***

E's next moments of exasperation came within minutes of each other--and their names were Hot Ronnie and Favorite Bartender. Hot Ronnie came over and attempted to talk T and myself into coming over to listen to music at his house (at3:00 am on Thursday morning??)...in fact, Hot Ronnie and I even sang a duet at the bar (and no it wasn't karaoke night!) None of this was making E happy,but I think the funniest thing was when Favorite Bartender was showing someonehis tattoos on his chest and being as drunk as he was, he just unbuttoned his entire shirt. T turned to me and said, "He needs to stop that! It's too enticing." I turned to look and I think my tongue fell out of my mouth...FavoriteBartender has an excellent body that I just wasn't aware of before. He propositioned Chelle the other weekend, and now that he's girlfriendless...I think she should take him up on that offer asap.

With T and I drooling in the corner over Favorite Bartender, E decided it was time to pack us up and take us home. Well...that's not totally true. T and I started walking out of thebar and E asked, "Are you two alright to be driving?" (and the answer wasabsolutely not...which was why we were just going to walk home) He shook his head and said, "Get in the car you two." And like drunken idiots we ran giggling to the car. In the car he asked, "How did you two ever make it this far without dying or something?" I shrugged, "I don't know, someone always takes good care of us."
"Well someone needs to...you two attract all the wrong men." Which made T start giggling and pointing out the obvious, "But you like Melina!" and me being the jackass that I am, I started laughing too and said, "Yeah."

E took us to Wawa so that we could eat. We ran around the store grabbing all kinds of food off the shelves and cacklinglike hyenas, he shook his head and said, "Girls! Get your food and get in the car. Now." We tried to hold back the laughs but it was impossible, they tumbled out. I saluted E and T mockingly said, "Ok Dad." He brought us home and again, after I munched on an assortment of foods, he attempted to have a "serious" conversation with me. And of course, it caused me to feel the fight or flight impulse surging within me. I cupped my hand over my mouth and ran past the bathroom, up the stairs to my room yelling, "I think I might get sick." But no, I was just saying that to get to safety.

TodayI woke to a note that said, "Both you and T snore like bears. I checked in on the two of you before I let myself out. Have a good day off and think of me while I'm slaving away at work."

Ugggh.