This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Well, give the girl a little and she wants a lot. A whole lot.

Because I have off all week I went out with the girls and partied it up. E showed up to hang out with us and talk about our kiss on Friday. He swears that I leaned in first...and he's dead wrong. Yet another example of one of my mental/relationship problems, he definitely likes me, and I really couldn't be bothered until, well, I'm drunk. Yes, I'm well aware how bad that sounds, and I'm well aware of what kind of person that makes me. An icky one. But it's the truth, and I've been nothing but upfront about how I get weirded out if someone expresses too much interest in me.

So last night, E had to drive T and I home after the bar and he came in and sat on the couch with me...T falls asleep and the next thing I know, we're sucking face again. And then, the next thing I know my bra is off...and then my jeans are being unbuttoned. Oh jeez! Well we didn't sleep together (thank goodness) but it was darn close. Ack! T says that my little Christmas rendezvous must've unleashed the lust beast again...I'm starting to believe her. All the control I've been wielding so smugly for the past few months seems to have gone out the freaking window.

It would be ok if E wasn't a friend of mine, and if he hadn't leaned over this morning, brushing the hair off my face and telling me that he was going to call and check on me later in the day. He kissed me chastely on the forehead and then sent me five or six text messages throughout the day (because he knows I hate talking on the phone)...each one adding more guilt and one more nail in my proverbial coffin. The second to last one said, "I'd like to finish what we started last night, give me a chance?" To which I responded, "Back off a little, you're going to scare me away." But that was a lie, I'm already scared and I'm already backing away.

Next victim? Who knows, but I'm going to keep my distance from E .I wish Matty was back in the picture because then there wouldn't be any complications and I wouldn't potentially hurt anyone's feelings.


posted by Melina at 6:31 PM