So- I'm sorry friends that I haven't posted in a day I hope I didn't alarm you but it was my birthday (as I have announced over and over). Let me say, I think this was my favorite birthday ever (I probably say that every year too...but I think it might really be true this time). I received about six different flower arrangements from the least expected people. I received a bunch of wacky and zany gifts (in fact I'll take a picture of what Chelle got me from Neighborhoodies!!!). But the best part was going to thitwbar...

Chelle and I walk into the bar. The second I sit down, the first bartender says, "Happy birthday M." The lady on the stool next to me says, "Oh you must come here." Then Chris, the bartender comes over with my Molson Golden without me saying anything and says, "Hey birthday girl!" The lady on the stool next to me says, "Wow, you must come here a lot." Chris also steals a french fry from Chelle and my basket and smashes it up in a little ball and says, "Here I made you mashed potatoes." I laugh hysterically and shrug apologetically to the lady next to me. Ok, it's true. I probably do go there too much. Drk came over and says "Happy Birthday" and I just want to punch him in the mouth because he doesn't have the shirt that I made him on. Stupid jerkface. But I still love him because he says, "I didn't want to get grease on it!" Awww, I love you sooo much.

Cr came after she packed (she had to go to California this morning at 4 am) and I was ready to get down to business. At 12am, the juke box starts playing the "Happy Birthday Song" and Drk comes out carrying a carrot cake (my favorite) for me. I could've cried. Cr set all of this up--she truly is the absolute best person ever. As we gorge ourselves on cake at the bar I lean over and mumble, "How come you didn't get Drk to jump out of the cake naked?" She looks at me and says, "He's little, but he's not that little." Agreed, agreed.

Chelle left at around 12:30 because she had to work today( I took off). My friend Nina left as soon as this girl Sunshine, who was drunk off her ass came flying up to me screaming the birthday song in my ear. She was completely color coordinated and looked like a cute little easter egg. She pushed Nina over the edge because she had no volume control and she kind of had a grating Bea Arthur (Dorothy from the Golden Girls) kind of voice, but I thought she was nice. She told me I had a warm smile and she just had to talk to me. Her exasperated boyfriend pulled her out of the bar not too long after that. Then it was just Cr and myself. Cr made a major sacrifice because she definitely wanted to spend the night with her boyfriend because they aren't going to see each other for about a week but she stuck with me at the bar. I told her since nothing exciting was happening at the bar that we could leave at 1am.

Drk kind of flew over (I think he was really nervous that I was going to pull something weird on my birthday) and he kind of threw a free ski lift pass in front of me and said, "Here this is for your birthday, from me and the rest of the guys." The lift tickets get raffled off at the end of every month so it wasn't all that special, but I guess it was nice that he did that. I personally think he should've taken me in the back room and given me oral sex but hey, that's just me.

My phone rings (I dread it, thinking it's J at 1am. Why do I dread J? Dunno.) but it's Matty! My birthday present? Yes.
Matty was drunk stranded in two towns over from my cornfield and he asked me and Cr to pick him up because he had "meant to hang out with us for my birthday". Cr was like, "Let's go get your birthday present." Heck yes I will! We pick his cute little ass up and I tell Cr to swing by thitwbar so that I can buy a six pack. Matty comes with me. I'm curious but I don't say anything. I get the beer and Matty's talking to Chris. Chris pulls a box of condoms out of the drawer under the bar and throws it on the countertop--my face turns purple. I stutter (because Drk is staring at them like they are rattlesnakes hissing), "They aren't for me!" as I pay for the beer AND the condoms with Matty's money. Why does the bar sell condoms at the actual bar and not in the bathroom? I have no fucking clue. As we walk out Matty holds my elbow and says, "What gives with you and not telling people that you and I hang out?" I shrug and say, "I have to keep up my viriginal appearances." Now the reality is that I just didn't want Drk to know, which is dumb, but hey...I'm dumb sometimes. Matty kisses me in the parking lot. I catch a glimpse of a dictator hat in the window. I think to myself,"Your loss mini dictator, your loss. " I kiss back deeply. I think I may be cured of Drk. I think. I don't want to put out any false alarms or anything.

Cr goes up to her room. It's now 2am, she figures she's going to stay awake since she's leaving in two hours and Matty and I go down to the basement so that she can watch The Notebook without punctuated moaning from the other room. Matty doesn't hit up the futon as usual (the cats are gone now--staying with Cr's boyfriend). This time he goes to the oversized chair/couch thingy with the oversized footstool...hmm. Look at him shaking things up. We kiss and all and he asks, "Would you mind if one time we video taped ourselves? Last time..." he shakes his head as I'm leaning on his chest, "Last time was amazing." I pick my head up and say, "I think every time with us is amazing. We're just really, really good together."
"So can we tape ourselves? We can watch it and then erase it, right then and there."
I think about it for a second, "I've never video taped myself having sex before," looking into his eyes.
"Wow, a first for M? No way!" he laughs.
I think about it for a few more seconds and then reply,"Yeah, I'll do it, but I don't have a recorder."
"Just leave that to me...I get one in a couple of days for us."
So folks, I'm entering the realm of Paris, Fred Durst and friends. But I'm going to be in charge of the tape so there won't be any circulation. Famous last words. I feel relatively safe though, but maybe it's false safety.
Needless to say, we had an amazing night...and sorry my close friends, your presents were great but multiple orgasms? Priceless.