This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
Check out my other blogs:

igotyourtexts.blogspot.com

melina310.wordpress.org
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Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Dating is Weird and Cultish
So tonight I was Im'ing back and forth with my friend Ml about our pining ways. She has pined for about as long as I have over her boy. Although to be fair, she's allowed to pine because she and her boy consumated something. Drk and my romance lies solely in the etheral mists of my imagination. The question comes down to this. Why do we pine? Tonight I think I answered it.

I pine because it's easier to. Yeah you feel crummy but it a crumminess that you can control. No one is actually hurting you, except you. In case you haven't noticed-- I hate dating. First of all, the past like three "first dates" that I've had...I had already seen my date naked, and in performance mode. Those kind of first dates are awkward. You already have an established sense of intimacy to an extent but you don't really know the person. This is the reason why you never go out on a date with someone you were expecting to be a one night stand.

The guy picks me up. He leans in hesitantly to kiss...I lean away...I think to myself, "Why all prim and proper now, eh missy?" and I have no answer to that. I usually lean over and kiss the guy on the cheek and walk ahead of him towards his car. Then I go to dinner. I start talking and all of my small talk was already used...so then I turn to alcohol. This inevitably leads to round two in the sack and then comes the question..."Do I even want to date this person?" Ok...that's just awkward but completely avoidable. No one to blame but me and Jamisson.

Regular dating is equally destestable in my mind. I hate the whole getting to know you process--I tell a story that I think is charming or funny or slightly off the wall but loveable and the guy usually looks at me like "I haven't met an original female before, what should I do now?" When I see that face, I usually have to abort the date...which is probably why I've always grown attached to friends, and then date/hang out with them for a while rather than dating outside my social circle.

Free love people...I think that was the way to go. You go out, you're pumping gas...so is someone else. Bam! You're "dating" for the night.

So yeah, pining although unhealthy and worrisome to many outsiders, still sounds like the best bet. However, the show must go on. As all my friends are dating, married and whatnot...I guess I will just have to put my hatred aside--stop my bitching about the time investment it takes and get out there. I'm serious, when I date someone I get very defensive over MY time. I guess I'm the opposite of a clingy girlfriend. It's probably not a really cool thing for the guy that I date to have to say to his bros, "Oh M. doesn't want to hang out with me tonight. She feels like she sees too much of me...but I'm allowed over after the bars close." (I exaggerate. I'm not a heartless bitch really) Before I do date...I'm getting laid. (it's been three weeks...that's long in Melina time, maybe not for other people. I'm thinking I should suck it up and call Matty. Maybe tomorrow) And I'm not going on a date with him afterwards either! Promise. (actually, if I call matty I won't need to worry about going on a date with him).
posted by Melina at 10:30 PM