Nosy Neighbors
Ok so you would never take me as an antisocial person would you? And I'm not. That being said, I don't socialize with my close-in-proximity neighbors. For several reasons actually. One, most of them are pretty creepy. Two, they all ask me personal questions that I would never ask someone unless they were close friends. These people literally have no filter.
The one guy leers at me and Cr asking us if we want to smoke pot with him whenever his morbidly obese wife leaves town (and I'm not being mean, she's really heavy), um yeah hi neighbor, we don't ever talk and when we do--you want to smoke pot with me. Uh no. My neighbors next door to me are nice, quiet, extremely god fearing people. Their side of our double looks like Martha Stewart lives there. My side? Not so much. They don't drink, they don't curse...they apparently don't like dust or dirt...they are nice, but they feel a little cardboardy to me. Then there is this freaky guy across the way. He is really short with a very high nasal voice. In every sentence he uses my name as if attempting to commit it to memory...although by now, he knows me because he has used my name in every sentence for the past year or so.
Well today he catches up to me as I was attempting to grab my mail and walk the dogs at the same time. He just comes alongside me and asks me what time I go to work. I tell him 6:30. And then I ask, "Why do you ask?" and he replies, "Oh because your ride gets here at 8:30." Ok dumbass...what part of 6:30 don't you understand? So I politely say, "No, like I said, I go to work at 6:30." Oh well, there was a [color] [approx. year] [make] [model] at your house today at 8:30 and the girl had a dark ponytail, I just thought that was you." Now how do you respond to that one? 'Thanks for watching out for my house so that it doesn't get burglarized?' Or what I really wanted to say, 'Hey short ass freak! Stop staring at my house! Stop scrutinizing what cars appear in my driveway.' Which makes me wonder what he sees when Matty's, Todd's, Drk's (ok, that was only once, huh?) or other boy's vehicles in my driveway?
Then I think the guy was trying to figure out whether or not Cr were hanging out as friends or as lovahs...he started probing that topic and the topic of who I was dating until I revealed that Cr was my friend/moving roommate. I'll admit though, I lied about my boyfriend status. I'm not sure if Shorty McShorterson (aka my nosy neighbor) is single, married or looking but...I didn't want to take any chances, so I told him I had a boyfriend. And I told him he has a lot of cars and not to be nervous if he sees a different car in the driveway at any given time. I'm crafty huh?
The one guy leers at me and Cr asking us if we want to smoke pot with him whenever his morbidly obese wife leaves town (and I'm not being mean, she's really heavy), um yeah hi neighbor, we don't ever talk and when we do--you want to smoke pot with me. Uh no. My neighbors next door to me are nice, quiet, extremely god fearing people. Their side of our double looks like Martha Stewart lives there. My side? Not so much. They don't drink, they don't curse...they apparently don't like dust or dirt...they are nice, but they feel a little cardboardy to me. Then there is this freaky guy across the way. He is really short with a very high nasal voice. In every sentence he uses my name as if attempting to commit it to memory...although by now, he knows me because he has used my name in every sentence for the past year or so.
Well today he catches up to me as I was attempting to grab my mail and walk the dogs at the same time. He just comes alongside me and asks me what time I go to work. I tell him 6:30. And then I ask, "Why do you ask?" and he replies, "Oh because your ride gets here at 8:30." Ok dumbass...what part of 6:30 don't you understand? So I politely say, "No, like I said, I go to work at 6:30." Oh well, there was a [color] [approx. year] [make] [model] at your house today at 8:30 and the girl had a dark ponytail, I just thought that was you." Now how do you respond to that one? 'Thanks for watching out for my house so that it doesn't get burglarized?' Or what I really wanted to say, 'Hey short ass freak! Stop staring at my house! Stop scrutinizing what cars appear in my driveway.' Which makes me wonder what he sees when Matty's, Todd's, Drk's (ok, that was only once, huh?) or other boy's vehicles in my driveway?
Then I think the guy was trying to figure out whether or not Cr were hanging out as friends or as lovahs...he started probing that topic and the topic of who I was dating until I revealed that Cr was my friend/moving roommate. I'll admit though, I lied about my boyfriend status. I'm not sure if Shorty McShorterson (aka my nosy neighbor) is single, married or looking but...I didn't want to take any chances, so I told him I had a boyfriend. And I told him he has a lot of cars and not to be nervous if he sees a different car in the driveway at any given time. I'm crafty huh?
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