A Glutton's Tale
So I'm a glutton. A glutton for food (which I deny myself all the good stuff so that I can maintain a slender frame on weekdays), a glutton for alcohol of all types and most of all...a glutton for punishment.
I just got out of the shower and just finished applying my makeup...attempting to look as perfect as possible so that I can go to the bar and get laughed at. Why go, you ask? Well first of all, I do a lot of stupid things so I'm getting better at dealing with embarrassment. Secondly, it's my local bar so I better just suck it up and deal.
So I look good, I feel good and dog-gone it...people like me (kidding of course!) Drk, eat your heart out--a week from now, you're going to kick yourself for not taking me up on my numerous offers (hanging head in shame) one of which was put into writing last night. Apparently, I wrote two rough drafts, which I found in my jeans' pocket when I did my laundry this afternoon! The final draft was written on a coaster which Cr said Drk looked at with a puzzled expression and then threw it away. Damn, I feel like a stalker!Next thing you know, I'll be boiling his bunny! Kidding. I doubt he has a bunny. Since you folks don't know me, I'm sure that's the impression you get too...but I promise I never go off the deep end like this, and half it is joking around, but I don't think joking translates well when you're drunk and feeling randy. Alas, I am a moron. A loveable moron.
I just got out of the shower and just finished applying my makeup...attempting to look as perfect as possible so that I can go to the bar and get laughed at. Why go, you ask? Well first of all, I do a lot of stupid things so I'm getting better at dealing with embarrassment. Secondly, it's my local bar so I better just suck it up and deal.
So I look good, I feel good and dog-gone it...people like me (kidding of course!) Drk, eat your heart out--a week from now, you're going to kick yourself for not taking me up on my numerous offers (hanging head in shame) one of which was put into writing last night. Apparently, I wrote two rough drafts, which I found in my jeans' pocket when I did my laundry this afternoon! The final draft was written on a coaster which Cr said Drk looked at with a puzzled expression and then threw it away. Damn, I feel like a stalker!Next thing you know, I'll be boiling his bunny! Kidding. I doubt he has a bunny. Since you folks don't know me, I'm sure that's the impression you get too...but I promise I never go off the deep end like this, and half it is joking around, but I don't think joking translates well when you're drunk and feeling randy. Alas, I am a moron. A loveable moron.
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