I'm in a posting mood today because it's that time of year again when I become a depressed little girl and this is when I typically curl up in a ball and watch really deep movies, take notes on them--write...tonight however, I'm not watching a deep movie at all. Do you remember that 80's movie,Some Kind of Wonderful with Eric Stoltz and Lea Thompson? Probably not, and I'm not suggesting anyone run out and rent it (although it's kind of funny to see the guy who plays Stabler on Law and Order:SVU play a biker/skin head of sorts). Well I'm watching that movie and just being dumb and thinking about the one time I've actually been in love...I mean really in love; and I wonder if that experience has totally warped me for eternity. I hope not...but you never know. I'm not typically the type of girl to get hung up on a guy. They come, they go and I'm happy--but V could've stayed forever. The nice thing about him was that he helped to improve every aspect of my life...the bad thing was, I obviously didn't improve his very much. Ah well--I wanted to talk about it but I don't want to go into any detail because it's embarrassing. It truly was a time (afterwards) when I clearly slipped off the deep end...not like boil your bunny crazy, but the "I''m going to die alone and no one is ever going to fill a space in my heart like this again" moping. Not that I might not potentially die alone, but at least I'll have few friends filling my bed before I go. I gave up on love and I believe it gave up on me...so lust and I became happy bedfellows. That probably explains the most of it. I'm sure I'll post more before the evenings over...I'm feeling maudlin.