This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Thursday, August 02, 2007
Mindfuck Sentences
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Last night John and I were watching a comedian, Tom Pappa to be exact. Typically, we Tivo a bunch of Comedy Central Presents and weed them out/delete immediately if both of us don't issue a belly laugh in the first three minutes. Hey, it may be hasty, but there's only so much time in the day...

Well there we were on the couch laughing at Mr. Pappa's jokes when out of nowhere I start cracking up to the point where tears are just pouring down my face...but Pappa wasn't what I was laughing at. I pawed at the air and gasped, "Pause IT!"

John pauses it and looks at me quizzically, "What?"
And that's when I had to explain, well, after I laughed hysterically for five minutes by myself.

"Remember when we were watching that Lewis Black special and he said that there are certain sentences that if you think about long enough your head will explode?"
John nodded.
"Remember when he said, "Listen to this and try to wrap your brain around the mindfuck that is this sentence..."?
He nodded again, a smile spilling across his face. Like mind readers, at the same time we both uttered the sentence,
"If it wasn't for my horse, I would've never spent that year in college" and then we proceeded to laugh on the couch hysterically for about fifteen minutes.

The funniest part of this story came later when we were doing some things on the couch that shouldn't produce laughter when done correctly...and I couldn't stop thinking about the sentence!!! The best I could do was avoid eye contact, bite down really hard on my lip and think about baseball.

Seriously, say the sentence very slowly pausing appropriately at the comma and then tell me you didn't laugh. What the fuck does that even mean?

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posted by Melina at 12:25 PM